Newport Beach Police Department testing: The good news is, I passed the HELLA hard written test. Over 50 people took the test, but only 23 passed. And I was the only woman. Joy. Those who passed immediately went outside to take the Physical Agilities Test. So, off went Erica and 22 fine young gentlemen out back....

I was terrified of the 6 foot wall. Seriously. SIX FEET? Whoo boy. Somehow I made it over the wall (which was part of a lengthy obstacle course), by hooking my arm over the top of it and grabbing the chain link fencing part on the other side (the front side was smooth solid wood) and then swinging my leg up and over. If you thought I was going to take a running leap at it, you've got another thing coming. The top was carpeted for some reason, so I have this combination rugburn-bruise thing going on the underside of my arm. Yay, war-wounds!! Pass.

Next up was the weapon simulation. Load and fire a fake gun five times with each hand. Pass.

Then on to pushing a running police car in neutral for a distance. "We don't drive our squad cars these days. We push them. Uphill both ways." Pass.

1500 yard run. Pass.

Donut-stuffing..... (???????)

165 lb dummy drag.... Let me explain this. I had to drag a 165 lb lifesize dummy 45 feet within 10 seconds. I swear, that's like running backwards. With a weighted Pillsbury Doughboy in front of you. I was on a roll until I tripped and fell backwards on my ASS.. In front of 22 MEN.

So I failed the PAT because of a dumb dummy. But that's ok. I have 3 months to take it again. And I don't have to take the written again. THANK GOD. Oceanside Police Department's dummy drag is 32 feet... *IN 28 SECONDS*. WTF. Apparently Newport Beach wants Speedy Gonzales saving your ass when you're down. Handale Handale! EEEEEHHHAAAWWW!!!