I would call myself a full-blown atheist, except for one thing. I think I might believe in a Technology God, and said Technology God must love me.

When my 3 year old Powerbook was thrown across my kitchen by an enraged (and somewhat psychotic and chemically imbalanced) roommate in 2002 - over a guy no less - Apple replaced everything free of charge.

That same laptop had a hard drive issue in 2004. Apple had me send it in for a repair and they ended up replacing a damaged display, the hard drive, upgrading the RAM, and replacing the CD-RW drive with a DVD-Combo drive all free of charge.

30 days after that I received a second "repaired Powerbook" through a repair status error. It was essentially my laptop, but considering I'd already HAD my repaired laptop for a month, the doppleganger one was definitely an oddity. After calling Apple to see what was going on they apologized for the confusion, and let me keep the second laptop free of charge, which was upgraded in every way from my original - Ebaying it financed a good portion of my move down to San Diego from Washington State.

And then there was that time last year when I somehow managed to come out of a waterfight with my WORK laptop with it still fully functioning. See Part 1 Here, and Part 2 Here.

Fast forward to this year. I saved up my $$ and on July 17th got a 4GB iPhone (couldn't afford the 8GB) - because I love Apple and I have been chomping at the bit for this beautiful blend of musical and communicative technology since they hinted at it a few years back.

On September 5th, Apple had the infinite wisdom to completely discontinue the 4GB and slash the prices of the 8GB by $200...

Needless to say I was a little peeved. Hundreds of thousands of loyal Apple customers screamed for blood and an answer in the matter of 12 hours. In today's market most decent pieces of technology should have at least 4-6 months of usability before being considered obsolete, and maybe a year before being discontinued. Not 50 days!!!! At least, one can hope, dammit.

So on the night of the 5th I scheduled an appointment at the nearest Apple Store (40 miles away!!!) for 7:45pm on the night of the 6th. On the morning of the 6th, Steve Jobs issued a public apology and promised all current iPhone owners a $100 Apple Store credit - and that nothing could be done until next week.

So in effect they were keeping the money - because store credit goes right back to them.

At 7:40 I walked into the Apple Store and into CHAOS - There were people everywhere and I ended up having to wait 45 minutes to meet with one of the guys. When they called my name, I met my rep and politely explained:

"I love Apple. I've been a customer since I got my LC II back in the late 1980's and have never been disappointed - until now. I was hoping for at least 4-6 months of enjoyment before seeing something cooler on the market - but instead I only had 50 days of iPhone goodness before my model was not only DISCONTINUED (the 4GB) but the 8GB was now cheaper than I paid for the smaller iPhone."

"I'm so sorry that you're upset, but unfortunately there isn't anything we can do. Did you see the open letter from Steve Jobs this morning? They will handle credits starting next week online."

*blinks* "SO, you're telling me that I scheduled this appointment, battled traffic for an hour, and drove 40 miles for nothing?"

"Weeeellll.... hold on a second."

My rep went to talk to who I assume was the guy in charge, and then came back with a slightly uncomfortable but wry expression on his face.

"You know, you waited so patiently for 45 minutes past your appointment time, and you drove such a long way, you're right. It would be a waste to see you being here for nothing... I'm going to try and help you out. This might be your only chance to do this, so... your 4GB isn't working, RIGHT?"

".... um, yeah... that's it."

He pulls out a customer return sticker and starts writing things down.

"And, what exactly is wrong with the 4GB unit?"

"Oh, well it definitely doesn't hold enough of my music."

*scribble scribble* "Sounds good. Just give me your bank debit card and your phone and I'll be right back."

15 minutes later I had a brand spanking new 8GB in hand and a $200 credit back to my bank account. Not some shoddy $100 Apple Store credit. Apple is the only company I've ever seen that really does bend over backwards sometimes to retain a loyal customer base. Smarter than Microsoft - Apple doesn't transfer you to India for support, last I checked. Hence my loyalty is a ripe 19 years old.

The Technology God loves me. And I love the Technology God.

Now, if only Eros, God of Love would throw me bones like that. F*cking men.

To the two guys in the truck behind me on the road from Vegas: You made my weekend.

Rocking outlike only two thirty-something
white boys on their way home from a good time in Vegas could do.We sat for 3 hours in the middle of nowhere, baking in the scorching Mojave sun. Rubbing my tired eyes, I struggled to stay awake.

I spotted you in my rearview mirror rocking out like only two thirty-something white boys on their way home from a good time in Vegas could do. I responded with some headbanging of my own. You broke out some Haddaway "What is Love" goodness. Viva Night at the Roxbury! I saw your thrashing and raised you two steering wheel drumming sets and an 80's style sprinkler to Jet's "I Believe in a Thing Called Love."

It was only the beginning.

Our 4-wheeled dance-off had me laughing for at least a good 2 hours; and everyone else around us as well.

*an hour later*
Have we really only gone 20 miles???

I was relieved when we were finally going over 10 miles per hour, but also a little sad because it meant we would have to part.