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Thursday, February 14, 2008
Hallmark? The New Valentine Poster Child...

It Could Only Be Jared... Everywhere I go I see Jared, Jared, Jared. Go away, Jared. Seriously.

Singles Awareness Day has been taken over by a bunch of guys that must own stock Diamonds and cheesy teddy bears.

This holiday now has a similarly bleak message for everybody:

If you're single (like me) it makes you feel hopelessly aware of your solo flight through life. If the parade of vomitously overaffectionate couples doesn't get to you, the mass-weddings definitely will. Who the hell gets married in a mass wedding??

If you're happily taken, you're still pretty much screwed. I wish you luck on your quest to somehow miraculously exceed those impossibly high expectations that the world has put on you to make it the best Valentine's Day ever. I hope you have access to a helicopter, an undiscovered paradise, and the personal attention of a world-reknowned chef, because otherwise your measly attempts at romance will be pish-poshed by everyone else who will vie to one-up you today.

I haven't had a good Valentine's since sometime around 2002, I think (has it really been that long?). Don't ask me about 2001; that was the day I found out that my fiance was cheating on me. The only time I've gotten flowers since then was once in 2005 from my dad. Don't even ask me about cards (what cards?).

But through it all, I continue to get one Valentine every year. The one person who drives me nuts to no end and has made me cry more than any man probably ever could still cares enough to tell me she loves me. Thanks, Mom.

 
posted by isadanceaholic at Thursday, February 14, 2008 | Permalink | 4 comments