Ok, so I’m a big advocate of carryon baggage. We all have those valuables/breakables/intimates/edibles that just cannot be trusted in the hands of the villainous luggage handlers or the pressurized stresses of cargo-bay travel. Limit me to one carryon plus one personal item? Get real. Between my makeup, purse, and laptop bag, I am always over the limit. But how can you limit that? Laptops must be carried on. My purse contents are my lifeline. There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell my makeup is going to survive checked baggage. So for me it’s always those three items.
Seriously now...
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What is it with me and airplanes??
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I’m in the Phoenix airport on July 4th, getting ready to fly back to San Diego, and I make a restroom pit stop on the way to the gate. Upon maneuvering my way around the Phoenix Airport’s latest and greatest maze-like invention to give ultimate privacy to restroom occupants without employing the use of an actual door (have you ever felt like you’re getting lost going in one?), I came across an amusing spectacle.
Behold: a woman struggling to get into a stall with so much carryon luggage that she cannot fit herself AND the bags in AND close the door without practically standing on the toilet (or falling in, which honestly would have been much funnier). And this particular lady wasn’t overweight by any means, either.
Wow. And I haven't even gotten on the plane yet!
Has anyone seen that Dairy Queen Blizzard commercial? This guy boards a plane, puts his DQ Blizzard onto his seat, and tries to stuff his carryon bag into the overhead bin. I guess the Blizzard is some sort of irresistible flavor because the guy in the seat next to his Blizzard spies the tasty treat and proceeds to stuff gobs of it into his mouth until the guy realizes that someone is ganking his DQ and makes a dive to stop the guy. Unfortunately, the carryon isn’t secured and it tumbles out of the overhead bin and onto two peoples’ heads across the aisle (thoroughly pissing them off), distracting him from his mission to save the Blizzard. The Hungry Man takes full advantage of this and keeps on shoveling away. It happens all over again a second time, only this time the ladies REALLY get pissed and start beating on him.
During takeoff on my return flight, one of the overhead bins across from my seat flew open and bags started to slowly slide out. It took until the bags were REALLY about to fall out before one of the people sitting right underneath the open bin realized that no one was coming to the rescue so they’d better close it themselves before the stewardesses realize that someone isn’t buckled in. God forbid a passenger isn’t buckled into their seats during takeoff, but never mind if a bag is poised at the ready to fly off the shelf and knock the crap out of a passenger….
I love flying. Really. :)
