Answer: The Migraine.
I hate coffee. It makes me sleepy and cranky. But at the height of a time when I needed some fast relief, it came to my rescue in the guise of an unexpected cure for the worst Migraine that I can remember having.
Migraine with a capital "M."
Wow, isn't that just the most perfect tagline for a new commercial.... ..hhhmmm...
Tylenol didn't work. My dad's Vicodin didn't work. But the one thing I hate most and consider comparable to liquified doggie shat worked. Go figure.
What caused this immobilizing onslaught of physical distress? Complete and utter human stupidity.
This guy works for us, out in the MidWest. Somehow he got the job.... and in order for me to do MY job, he has to do HIS job. Unfortunately, doing his job requires managing a massive amount of email, Excel spreadsheets, and general computing... and when I say this guy isn't the sharpest crayon in the box, it's the understatement of the year. So, to get the show on the road, I got to play HelpDesk Rep for a little bit....
...and "a little bit" turned into nearly four hours of unimaginable frustration and complete hell.
Yes... FOUR HOURS on the phone with this guy at work, and I spent the majority of that time resisting the urge to repeatedly bang my head upon my desk and talking in a slow, explanatory manner....
That's about the time that my Migraine decided to come a-knockin'.
The first hour was dedicated to teaching him the basics, such as how to turn his laptop on, plugging it into the wall when the battery is low, and the difference between single- and double-clicking.
From there we progressed to the idea that the little "X" in the upper right of a window is for closing a window.
OH MY GOD... must... resist.... urge... to ... scream...
Unbeknownst to him... this guy must be the proverbial butt of every Internet Helpdesk joke in existence. I just about fell over when his response to "Ok, see My Computer on your Desktop?" was "I can't see YOUR computer.. what are you talking about??"
I thought that was just a joke.. do people REALLY say things like that?!?! Apparently.
Poor guy.... but still... HOW THE HELL DID WE HIRE HIM?!?!
So began the saga of the 20-hour Migraine that only coffee would kill....
