Newport Beach Police Department testing: The good news is, I passed the HELLA hard written test. Over 50 people took the test, but only 23 passed. And I was the only woman. Joy. Those who passed immediately went outside to take the Physical Agilities Test. So, off went Erica and 22 fine young gentlemen out back....

I was terrified of the 6 foot wall. Seriously. SIX FEET? Whoo boy. Somehow I made it over the wall (which was part of a lengthy obstacle course), by hooking my arm over the top of it and grabbing the chain link fencing part on the other side (the front side was smooth solid wood) and then swinging my leg up and over. If you thought I was going to take a running leap at it, you've got another thing coming. The top was carpeted for some reason, so I have this combination rugburn-bruise thing going on the underside of my arm. Yay, war-wounds!! Pass.

Next up was the weapon simulation. Load and fire a fake gun five times with each hand. Pass.

Then on to pushing a running police car in neutral for a distance. "We don't drive our squad cars these days. We push them. Uphill both ways." Pass.

1500 yard run. Pass.

Donut-stuffing..... (???????)

165 lb dummy drag.... Let me explain this. I had to drag a 165 lb lifesize dummy 45 feet within 10 seconds. I swear, that's like running backwards. With a weighted Pillsbury Doughboy in front of you. I was on a roll until I tripped and fell backwards on my ASS.. In front of 22 MEN.

So I failed the PAT because of a dumb dummy. But that's ok. I have 3 months to take it again. And I don't have to take the written again. THANK GOD. Oceanside Police Department's dummy drag is 32 feet... *IN 28 SECONDS*. WTF. Apparently Newport Beach wants Speedy Gonzales saving your ass when you're down. Handale Handale! EEEEEHHHAAAWWW!!!

Update: Apparently it's a blue agave plant. You know, that stuff they make tequila from. SWEEEEEEEEET....


"Alien Asparagus Invasion"

I'm sure all the Californians here remember the rains we had a while ago... About a week before the last downpour, Dad and I were outside weedwhacking the yard, and were removing plants from the area lining the fence between our yard and our neighbor's yard. The guy next door has this cactus plant, and it's rather large, like a giant super-prickly aloe vera plant thing. It looked normal enough... then two weeks AFTER the rains, Dad and I are getting out of his truck and he goes "Jesus Christ what the HELL is that thing?!?!"

Yeah, the spike grew in TWO effin' weeks, I kid you not. That funky spike was most definitely NOT there before. It's like a massive asparagus from hell... We can't wait until it blooms....

I'm taking bets on when it blooms and what comes out if anyone is interested :D Remember Jack and the Beanstalk? I have my climbing spikes ready and waiting. "Hello boys, remember me? I'm baaaaaacccckkkkk!"
Whoever guesses what movie that is from gets 10 points.